Sex at Car Washes or with Cars or Robot Marriage

From The Saginaw News, A 29-year-old man was caught having sex with a car wash vacuum cleaner last month in Swan Creek, Michigan. He pleaded no contest and could face up to a year in jail not from sexing up the machine but for violating terms of his parole from which he was to be released on June 1.

His former convictions include a second-degree home invasion back when he was 17, marijuana possession when he was 19 and fleeing a police officer when he was 24. It sounds like this guy can't catch a break. True, he should have taken care of business elsewhere but hopefully the judge will see him as a modern-day Ernest T Bass.

Forget the Car Wash, Go for the Car
57-year-old Mr. Smith likes to have sex with cars. Not sex in cars. Sex with cars. His girlfriend is a VW Bug that looks just like Herbie, but he calls her Vanilla.

In an interview with the Telegraph, he said, "I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love ... Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become lovable, huggable characters it's just wonderful ... I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."

He says he's been with women but has never been attracted to them. Although, Vanilla is his girlfriend, he sees other cars including a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon. Moreover, his most intense sex was not with a car but with helicopter from the show Airwolf.

Being Gay is a Gateway to Robot Sex
From the News & Observer, there was a rally last week in Raleigh, NC that drew a thousand people who supported an amendment that would ban gay marriage. One of the speakers at the rally, David Gibbs III, told the crowd that gay marriage would "open the door to unusual marriage in North Carolina ... Why not polygamy, or three or four spouses? Maybe people will want to marry their pets or robots." I don't know anyone who has married a robot but I did witness a wedding at a Captured By Robots show once.

Dude, that did happen! Not robots, unfortunately
From Reuters: In Bhubaneswar, India an 18-month-old man was married off to his neighbor's dog in order to ward off tiger attacks. The dog's name is Jyoti. When the man becomes a real man, he will be able to marry a real human lady.

So, this doesn't really count since this is the sort of the equivalent of marrying somebody in order to become a US citizen. Except that tigers don't kill you when your visa expires. But I digress ...
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