Sex at Car Washes or with Cars or Robot Marriage

From The Saginaw News, A 29-year-old man was caught having sex with a car wash vacuum cleaner last month in Swan Creek, Michigan. He pleaded no contest and could face up to a year in jail not from sexing up the machine but for violating terms of his parole from which he was to be released on June 1.

His former convictions include a second-degree home invasion back when he was 17, marijuana possession when he was 19 and fleeing a police officer when he was 24. It sounds like this guy can't catch a break. True, he should have taken care of business elsewhere but hopefully the judge will see him as a modern-day Ernest T Bass.

Forget the Car Wash, Go for the Car
57-year-old Mr. Smith likes to have sex with cars. Not sex in cars. Sex with cars. His girlfriend is a VW Bug that looks just like Herbie, but he calls her Vanilla.

In an interview with the Telegraph, he said, "I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love ... Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become lovable, huggable characters it's just wonderful ... I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."

He says he's been with women but has never been attracted to them. Although, Vanilla is his girlfriend, he sees other cars including a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon. Moreover, his most intense sex was not with a car but with helicopter from the show Airwolf.

Being Gay is a Gateway to Robot Sex
From the News & Observer, there was a rally last week in Raleigh, NC that drew a thousand people who supported an amendment that would ban gay marriage. One of the speakers at the rally, David Gibbs III, told the crowd that gay marriage would "open the door to unusual marriage in North Carolina ... Why not polygamy, or three or four spouses? Maybe people will want to marry their pets or robots." I don't know anyone who has married a robot but I did witness a wedding at a Captured By Robots show once.

Dude, that did happen! Not robots, unfortunately
From Reuters: In Bhubaneswar, India an 18-month-old man was married off to his neighbor's dog in order to ward off tiger attacks. The dog's name is Jyoti. When the man becomes a real man, he will be able to marry a real human lady.

So, this doesn't really count since this is the sort of the equivalent of marrying somebody in order to become a US citizen. Except that tigers don't kill you when your visa expires. But I digress ...
Sourse: http://www.digitalcity.com/

Sex cheats rumbled on Street View

Why do we stop having sex in cars? I don’t have any documented data to substantiate my claim but anecdotally I can tell you that most of the women I know (and by proxy the men they were with) had their first or early sexual experiences in a car.

It must be a cultural touchstone of some sort. How many horror movies feature a boy and a girl on a desolate stretch of road, windows steaming right before Jason or Freddy hacks them to bits?

According to Wikipedia, Lovers' lane is a generic term for secluded areas where people kiss or make out. These areas range from parking lots in secluded rural areas to places with extraordinary views of a cityscape or other feature.

No one walks, rides a bike or takes the bus to Lover’s lane; you can only get there in a car.

The boy I dated in college (Rock Chalk, Jayhawk) drove a gunmetal grey 1987 BMW 325i. I drove a Mini Cooper two years ago and Bob Miller’s BMW was only slightly bigger than that. It was a standard transmission and the front driver’s seat was about the size of a metal folding chair.

I was thinner then. OK, I was much thinner then. Even as I look at a picture of that car, I’m trying to imagine what kind of David Blaine like contortions I must have been able to get myself into in order to make that work. As it stands today, I do a not -particularly flattering little dance into my jeans so having sex in the front seat of my VW isn’t sexy. It’s downright laughable.

The broader question is why I was having sex before marriage, right? I’m talking to you, Bristol Palin.

No, the question I keep coming back to is this: why weren’t we doin’ it in , oh I don’t know, a bed?

Bob lived in his fraternity and I lived in a sorority house so there was a distinct lack of privacy. Of the two of us, I wonder who had the internal monologue that said, “I know! For this most intimate and sacred act, lets drive into the wheat fields that abut the new housing development in the western most part of Lawrence, Kansas to, in the immortal words of Marvin Gaye, ‘get it on’”. I mean really.

Fast-forward 20 years and having sex in a car is equal parts uncomfortable and unthinkable. Dangerous even. But back then? I’m not sure I would have recognized it as sex without the glow from the dashboard lights, my leg wedged impossibly between the emergency brake and the passenger seat.

Perhaps I come by it honestly. There is wide speculation in my family that I was conceived in the back of my father’s 1968 MGB.
Sourse - http://www.examiner.com

Volkswagen: Sexy new stance

VW has cachet early Beetle owners could only dream about, but it's lost its fun factor. Its GTI and R cars are entertaining drives, but they hardly look the part.

Hence the Scirocco, a funky three-door hatch to attract younger buyers, and sex up VW's too-staid image.

What's new?
The body, for starters. Yes, it's loosely based on Golf underpinnings, but it's 40mm longer and 51mm wider. Significantly, it's also 97mm lower and boasts a wider track - by 35mm at the front, and 59mm at the rear.

Then there's that swoopy skin, the fat rear haunches beneath the narrower cabin, the low roofline emphasised by the narrow side windows; the width by that new face.

The 2-litre turbo engine isn't new, neither is this 1.4-litre supercharged turbo, although it debuts the seven-speed DSG transmission.

The company line
Scirocco may steal buyers from the new five-door Golf GTI which arrives in six months.

What we say
This is an impressive vehicle, not just for its looks but for the blend of rapid performance and everyday usability.

Sure, the low roofline will bang the odd cranium, and although the two rear pews are roomier than expected, the narrow windows and low ceiling mean they're best used as occasional seating. But singles or couples seeking a sexy-looking European hatch with everyday comfort will struggle to do better at the price.

Nice cabin too, with supportive seats and the occasional design flourish that suits this car.

On the road
This 1.4-litre engine sounds innocuous while cruising, but go hard and the way the supercharger spools up then segues to the turbo is breathtakingly effective.

The 240Nm torque peak is on tap anywhere from 1500 to 4500rpm, punching the car through corners with the verve expected from a bigger engine, before delivering the 118kW power peak at 5800rpm.

That broad spread of urge is delivered without stress thanks to the seven-speed transmission, which changes up at 6400rpm in sport mode.

The suspension's the basic Golf set-up, but the car's low, wide stance effectively controls roll, and although understeer does surface she's delightfully controllable on the throttle.

The best bit is that the nimble handling doesn't compromise compliance, so the Scirocco is well controlled over lumpier road surfaces.

Meanwhile the soon-to-arrive more powerful 2.0 turbo is a tad heavier and more thirsty, and though it's quicker in 0-100 terms, the peakier power delivery may pall.

Why you'll buy one
On challenging roads, hottish hatchback fun when you want it, frugal commuting when you don't, in a head-turning package that's also well-priced, if VW can deliver it at its $50,000 estimate come the April 15 on-sale date.

Why you won't
That sexy stance delivers a low roofline that limits rear headroom, renders clambering aboard a tad awkward, and makes for too high a boot lip if you're carrying heavy luggage.

Women prefer men in sexy cars (men prefer sexy women)

People scrambling over each other to reach that muddy dollar lying on the sidewalk. And uncontrolled competition to secure a lover who will make others envious of our powers of seduction.



Researchers at the University of Wales Institute in Cardiff wanted to believe differently. Or, at least, I want to believe they wanted to believe differently.

They showed women pictures of the same man in two different cars: a silver Bentley Continental and a Ford Fiesta (think small, dinged, possibly driven by an academic). Women aged 21-40 expressed a vast preference for the gentry in the Bentley.

I wanted to weep when I read this. Every profile I have ever read on Match.com tells me that women want a sense of humor, not a sense of Beemer. But no. It seems that a purring motor is the way to make a female turn feline.

Your faith in humanity may well be restored when you discover the researchers tried the same ruse with men--with very different results. The men couldn't give a broken sprocket if the woman was driving a stolen Lada. All they were interested in was...oh, go on, just guess. You know the answer.

This information drove the researchers to some brutal and depressing conclusions. The Institute's Dr. Michael Dunn told the "Telegraph": "Females focus on questions of wealth and status because if the male possesses those, that male would be in a better condition to rear healthy offspring."

You may consider a little purple pill when you hear that even when women make more money and have extremely attractive, um, cars, they still seek out men with even greater status (and, presumably, Mercedes) than their own.


Dr. Dunn, clearly a brave and happy man, even ventured to declare that women are the shallower sex. "Let's face it--there's evidence to support it," he said.

Well, I am facing it. And I will raise your research, Dr. Dunn, with that from the fine journal "Archives of Sexual Behavior."

Men are, according to this Dutch journal's findings, so bathed in depth that they fall in love in 8.2 seconds. That's possibly 0-43 mph for the Ford Fiesta.

If a man doesn't find a woman attractive, even if she's driving a Bentley, he will give her 4.5 seconds of his gaze. However, in the 8.2 seconds he will drool over a face he finds appealing, the man will lose his heart, body, soul, and perhaps some years later, his wheels.

I am a little skeptical of the Journal's explanation for the differing ocular behavior of the sexes. Men, according to the researchers, need to stare a lot to be sure their target female is "fit and fertile," while women don't stare too long because of a fear of unwanted pregnancy and single parenthood.

They smoke somewhat wacko tobacco in Holland, so I am prepared to forgive the researchers these somewhat fanciful assertions.

My own conclusion is that everyone is shallow and we need all the help we can get. Where's the nearest Bentley dealership?
sourse - news.cnet.com